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To the Quitters,
I get you.
I am you.
I run when things get hard. I quit when I don’t like how things are turning out. The thought of staying planted anywhere makes me feel like it’s going against the grain of who I am. In fact, this book you’re holding almost didn’t happen.
Because hello, my name is Nicki, and I’ve quit everything. I’m not even exaggerating.
I quit this process more times than I can count. I quit pursuing it. I quit trying. I quit praying for it. I quit believing God for it.
But the day came when I got fed up with my cycle of defeat. And since then, I have been a woman on a mission to reverse the effects of quitting on my life.
I began by going back. Back to my faith, back to my dreams, back to my hopes, and back to the woman I wanted to become. With the foundation and goals in full view, I had to go back and ask these types of questions:
When did you start to believe you are weak? you are not able? you want to quit? you need to give up? you don’t deserve to win?
I realized all the things that were keeping me stuck in the process of failure: my thoughts, my insecurities, my low self-esteem, and my disbelief in myself. I discovered I am in fact my own greatest enemy. And one day I had enough. I said, “No more.”
By myself I survived defeat temporarily. But the cycle would sneak back up on me. I felt like I was made to eventually quit. I needed someone I could get behind and learn how to break the cycle of defeat, failure, and quitting.
I found her. Her name is Ruth. And friend, this woman had more determination, commitment, drive, and belief than any woman I’ve ever actually met. Her story is found in the Bible. And Ruth taught me five life-changing habits.
Habits that have helped me find bravery in the midst of this quitting battle. These five habits have messed with me in the best possible ways. They help me stay when I want to run. I definitely don’t have these habits perfected, but they have kept me in process.
And through this internal reflection of mine, I’ve discovered I’m not alone. There are others who are just sick and tired of feeling like a loser. So one day I took these private thoughts and had a public conversation with others about defeat. Instead of judgmental glares, I found the words “me too” to be the connector of our souls.
I don’t want to quit, but I do. Me too.
I feel like I don’t have what it takes. Me too.
I want to run away. Me too.
I can’t stick out most commitments I’ve made. Me too.
I’ve yet to meet someone who hasn’t quit something in her life. You and I need this process. We are bent but not completely broken. There’s too much at stake to settle.
I promise I’m way more messed up than you. I’ve quit more than you’ve ever quit. I almost missed it. It was almost too late for me. But it wasn’t. Change has stayed possible.
Will you strive to be a woman who doesn’t quit?
Your dream is not dead. Hope is still a possibility. It’s not over.
With you and for you,